Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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