We won't sleep together?
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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