my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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