I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
