I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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