Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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