I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
