I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
