Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Soap is not a condiment
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Randomize
