True but thats because hes a fetus.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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