just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
