How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Randomize
