I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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