dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
