i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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