I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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