Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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