shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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