from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
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