You're so nebulous sometimes
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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