Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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