Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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