I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize