I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
