That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
