Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
there is glitter all over my balls
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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