I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
