I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
