So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
