saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i dont even know how to be here
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
