I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
