"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
