I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
