Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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