If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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