Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Randomize
