She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
