just come out here and I will go home with you...
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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