She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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