I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
