it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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