He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize