Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I just found puke in my bra..
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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