I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
