Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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