honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
