no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
