I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
