Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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