i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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