i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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