I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
That accounts for only three of the penises
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
