I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
