Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I fill condoms, not promises.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
