This girl is more easily done than said...
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
