YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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